NHK Sucks!

Reading: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, Suzanna Clarke
Listening: silence
Craving: warm apple pie
Mood: irritable

8:15 pm.
I was washing dishes, with a podcast playing loudly above the running water, when the doorbell rang. The noise startled me; I wasn't expecting a visitor. With my American suspicions in check, I stood behind the door and asked (in Japanese) who was there. With no reply, I returned to the kitchen, but paused the podcast that I might listen for further sounds. The doorbell rang again. Still behind an unopened door, I raised my voice: "Who is it?"

"Are you the person who lives at number 6?" a male voice replied.
"Yes," I said, rolling my eyes. I was irritated that clearly I had to fend off an annoying nighttime salesperson. (I sent away a newspaper salesman simply by barking, "I'm busy!") Sensing an opening, the faceless figure rattled off an avalanche of words (in Japanese, speakers use such avalanches to appear polite, but the words essentially mean nothing) and identified himself as an employee of NHK.

NHK, 日本放送協会 (Japan Broadcasting Association) for those who don't know, is the national public broadcaster, funded by "Receiving Fees" paid by viewers. The fees are most commonly collected at random, from door-to-door. I visited the NHK English website for further information, and I learned that the payment system is backed by a "Broadcast Law" stating that "receiving fees are paid equally by every household in Japan with a television set." Article 32 of the law elaborates that the mandatory payment does not apply to those who have "installed receiving equipment not intended for the reception of broadcasting." Let's keep this information in mind as I continue with my story, shall we?

The last time that the NHK man appeared at my doorstep, I played the dumb foreigner card: I said that 1. I didn't understand Japanese and that 2. I didn't own a television (In truth, I did own a television, but at the time, it was broken, and I hadn't used it for months.). My explanations appeared to be enough, and he left. This time, however, I was kept from turning to the same excuses when the NHK man said, "I heard sounds coming from your house. That's the television, isn't it?" (Irritating Comment Number One.) It's no invasion of privacy to overhear noise from outside an individual's home, but it was unsettling to know that this man had been listening. I told him, in all honesty, that the sounds had been coming from my computer. Irritating Comment Number Two arose when he then insisted, "It sounds as though it's coming from the TV. And if you have a TV, you need to pay."

Throughout this--conversation, if you will--I never opened the door. Did this man have concrete evidence that I was watching my television? Did he see my television flashing behind my lying back? No. And even if he did, a flashing screen would not indicate that I was watching NHK programming. I perhaps felt frustrated because I only recently acquired a working television, and the two or three times that I've used it have been solely to play video games or watch DVDs. When I do watch Japanese television shows (dramas), I download them onto my computer, where I can watch them on my own time. I again insisted to the man that the sounds he had heard were from my laptop; he again refused to believe me.

At that point, I was fed up. I already hate being solicited at home, but the representative further ticked me off by refusing to believe my claims. Whatever happened to "the customer is always right"? I told him a final time that I do not use my television for watching NHK programming. And he departed with a quiet "It's hard to hear from behind the door. I guess I'll go now. Excuse me."

Within the fiscal 2006 year, 947,000 people refused to pay their bills. With 127.3 million people in the country at last count, there are plenty of households that are paying. NHK is clearly getting the money it needs. (Even though its programs generally suck.) Should it really be a big deal to fight individual customers over petty payments?

My whine-fest over, I now plan on watching a drama. On my television. For the sake of the NHK man.

You can learn more about the wonders of NHK here!